Friday, January 07, 2005
Jia jia you ben nan nian de jing.. Part IIRite.. on with the topic. All those junk that i typed ytd.. well they were induced by marriage problems faced by those arnd me.
Let me describe a scenario.. u're pregnant (presumably u're female and not married) and u're faced with some options.. and u seriously have to make a decision very soon. The father's willing to take up the responsibility and marry u (even if it's kinda reluctantly). However, though to a certain extent u do like the guy, but probably not enough to wanna spend the rest of ur life with him. Or rather, u don't think he's dependable enough, i.e. u don't trust him to be able to take care of u and the baby, at least, at this moment in time. What will ur decision be? Marry the guy with the baby being the primary reason, or be a single mother and bring up the child on ur own, or go for an abortion?
It's a hard decision.. complicated by moral and ethical issues. No matter what decision is made by anyone who ever come across such a situation, it's difficult to judge the right or wrong of it. Hopefully, the consequences of any decision made would be taken into serious consideration.
How is it that, a couple married for more than 20 years (with the last 1/3 of the time spent tolerating one another), finally decides to divorce? Why is it that a couple can get married out of love, but separate due to betrayal of one or both parties? It really saddens me to see such things happening.. esp when it happens so close to me.. too close, in fact, for me to not get involved.
Imagine spending 20 years with someone, to discover that it has all been a bunch of lies. Maybe not totally a bunch of lies, but enough to make u think that most of what he said or did was bullshit. It really hurts to find out the truth by sneaking arnd. (That's what u really got to do when u can't get the real shit out of his mouth.)
Imagine spending 20 years with someone who thinks u have a brain like the size of a pea and a mind with the speed of a snail. Well, i'm exaggerating but u get the idea.. someone who thinks so lowly of u that they don't bother talking to or discussing with u abt anything. I don't think most ppl like being told "you wouldn't understand anyway" every time they try to show some concern or ask twice abt the troubles and thoughts of their loved one.
Imagine spending 20 years slogging ur life away for someone who doesn't even know how to show a bit of appreciation. Not only u have to tolerate the shit from ur boss and colleagues at work to contribute to the family income, u have to double as a maid when u reach home, and u don't even get paid for it. Ok, i'm exaggerating again, but it's a more effective way to get the idea through to ppl rite? No one likes to be taken for granted, and it takes so little to make someone feel appreciated.. just a sincere word of thanks, a small hug here and there, even a smile will do. Ppl are really getting ungrateful nowadays. (I'm probably guilty of it too, one time or another.)
Sometimes, looking at the ppl arnd me, i feel that i'm beginning to lose faith in the bonds of matrimony. To many ppl in this century, marriage is just a piece of paper stating that u've visited ROM at least once in ur life.
Life is really unpredictable.. and ever-changing. Probably it is best to just cherish the moment.. bu zai hu tian chang di jiu.. zhi zai hu ceng jing yong you..
posted @ 11:26 PM