Sunday, November 27, 2005
Suddenly..I have alot of gan chu.. feelings.. I duno why.. I thought i've already seen through these things..
There are times when i will have very deep thoughts.. out of nowhere. In fact, it's been a long time since such a time occur. But i guess this is one of them..
Frankly speaking, i wanna be frens with everyone, talk to everyone, laugh with everyone, and be happy together always. But sometimes, it's not smth that i want, i'll get. Before i even extend my hand, i've already been rejected. Not physically, not even verbally. But i just know, i'm being kept outside the walls, and the gate is tightly locked.
I won't ask why, coz i know sometimes there're no reasons. Just like when i simply dislike someone on 1st impression, or just by the 1st look, or just by our 1st contact, there's no need for reason. They probably just dislike me. The same goes for love.
I do know, that when we dislike someone due to certain circumstances, there're always both sides on a coin. When we talk about how so-and-so is so hypocrite bla bla bla.. the other party might be thinking the same things about us. To them, we're the hypocrite ones. If i'm that person, i might dislike the 'me' over here. Confusing? Heh..
That's why humans are so complicated. But that's also why humans are so interesting. That's why i like observing ppl. That's why i always get too involved. That's why i get hurt. That's why now.. i put myself at a distance.. from most things.
My heart hurts for times lost, for love forgone, for frens departure.
I don't even know if i got the message across. I doubt the ppl this is meant for even cares enough to come here.
Please, don't let me lose anymore of the things that i love and hold dear to me.
posted @ 1:05 AM